Nonexistent
by Saba's Reflection
Summary: "Kisshu had deluded himself into thinking his sanity was intact, when the truth was really bitter and bizarre. He wasn't even properly alive."


**Nonexistent**

* * *

_Dear Ichigo,_

_How are you doing?_

_I'm sorry I haven't posted a letter for two days, but I promise to limit it to one this time!_

_I really need a vacation, but I can't seem to get out of this world I'm in..._

_... I'm wondering how my letters always reach you because there's not even a door..._

_Well, I think you're getting them._

_You never give me a reply and I've been waiting since forever, Koneko-chan!_

Forever.

How long was forever?

How long had it already been?

_You don't know how hard leaving earth was for me, Ichigo..._

_... So I came back._

_And I don't remember anything after that, except waking up here._

Kisshu had deluded himself into thinking his sanity was intact, when the truth was really bitter and bizarre.

He wasn't even properly alive.

_I can't take it anymore, Koneko-chan!_

_My heart, it's stopped beating..._

_... I still love you._

He placed a hand on where his heart should be, wincing at the fact that he felt nothing at all from this.

He could not experience the pounding against his ribcage anymore as he expressed his feelings about Ichigo, nor could he dwell on the past, mainly because he had forgotten it.

_What happened to me, Koneko-chan...?_

_Where am I?_

Kisshu spun his swivvel chair around to face the blank walls of his isolation.

He could never look beyond it because his mind just couldn't function any longer.

His left ear twitched almost repeatedly, as well as his right eye.

The truth was in his appearance, although his solitude consisted of only a chair, desk, paper, a pen, an envelope, a stamp...

... Her address.

_You haven't moved house, have you, Koneko-chan?_

_Ichigo..._

He choked on his tears.

"Why is this HAPPENING TO ME?!"

The ink in his pen became a crimson red as he wrote roughly and accurately, his tears hitting the paper to form red drops of blood.

_Goodbye, Ichigo._

Upon the closure of his letter, two new voices flowed alongside his.

_"Will he ever wake up?"_

"Taruto?"

Kisshu blinked, his lashes kicking the tears away.

_"His doctor said his recovery is far from imminent."_

"Pai?"

_"Stop it with the long words! Kisshu can't die... he just can't!"_

_"His mind, Taruto... it is not stable. The doctors will be forced to shut his ventilator off-"_

_"NO! SHUT UP!"_

"I'm alive, damnit!"

His fist collided with the desk as it broke into two, anger and frustration taking over.

_"I apologise, Taruto."_

"LISTEN TO ME! TARUTO! PAI!"

Black plagued the room as Kisshu was engulfed by the darkness, opening his eyes to reveal nothing but white circles.

"I'm... not dead... but... I'm not alive... either..."

* * *

_I remember exactly what happened now, Koneko-chan._

_Isn't it weird how love destroyed me?_

_It became an obsession, I admit it._

_I wasn't allowed to return because Deep Blue was our hero..._

_... And we killed him, Koneko-chan._

_You see, nobody believed our story._

_Like Deep Blue, they desired your world._

_They couldn't prove we were his murderers, and blamed it on you humans instead._

_We were prisoners on our own planet, and I escaped that to be with you._

_But then realisation hit me._

_You, Masaya... I had learnt from the past that I couldn't destroy your life again._

_I destroyed my own in place of yours._

_Didn't you watch the news?_

_I stepped in front of a truck._

_Luckily, Taruto and Pai rescued me from your government's obsession with aliens._

_I'll never know what I've been diagnosed with, but it seems to be brain damage._

_It doesn't stop my heart from saying it loves you though._

_I was right what I said before, Ichigo, and I'll say it again._

_Goodbye._

* * *

Taruto clutched onto Pai, his arms wrapped around his waist.

Tears trickled down his cheeks like streams.

"Don't let him do it, Pai... please..."

It seemed as though Pai didn't care, his expression solemn and distant.

He cried all night.

"Remember him as he was before and he will have never left us, Taruto."

Taruto nodded, but it was a long journey before he came to terms with his death.

"It was that damned catgirl!"

He closed his eyes as the nurse approached Kisshu's ventilator cautiously, her eyes filled with worry for the young child.

Pai let his eyes fall on the ground, waiting for his friend's breathing to come to a halt forever.

"Perhaps, but what really killed him was love."

_Click!_

The switch was closed, and Kisshu was dead.

Ichigo would never know.

* * *

_Goodbye._

She sat up almost immediately, sweat forming at the tip of her bangs.

Her breathing was ragged and short.

"It's happened again, Masaya."

Masaya lifted his head up sleepily, blinking repeatedly at the sight of his girlfriend after yet another nightmare.

He slid an arm around her waist as he sat up straight, rubbing his eye with his free hand.

"It was different this time."

"How?"

He moved her bangs aside from her forehead, soothing her as he rubbed her back.

"Usually he would be talking about his life... well, what was left of it. But now... it sounded like he had ended it."

Masaya stared into the wall in front of them. Although he didn't experience these dreams, the fact that Deep Blue had once possessed him gave him a sixth sense...

... He felt Kisshu's presence disappear over the night.

Ichigo rested her head on her boyfriend's chest as she closed her eyes, feeling a light burning sensation afterwards.

She whispered in a tone not even Masaya could decipher.

She didn't even realise why she was saying it.

"I'm sorry."


End file.
